i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
