Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
