my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
