I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
