"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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