and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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