I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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