i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think your dad took our porno
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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