Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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