She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
