The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
