My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The uberlube is also flammable
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
