You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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