Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
