I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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