And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
