You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
