Define "chronic" masturbator.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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