do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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