I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
