I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
