Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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