i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
