I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
