Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
