The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
my sisters under your porch take her home
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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