butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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