do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
