We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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