How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Can Purell be used as lube?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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