look no pants
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
