Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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