You're so nebulous sometimes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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