If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize