While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
