Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
