Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
