im holly from the hills drunk
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
