Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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