He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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