I feel great
I just peed on a car
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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