If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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