brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my phone needs a breathalizer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
