Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
