Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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