Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
