I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
