I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
