You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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