3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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