just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize