I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
