Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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