You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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