The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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