ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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