How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize