Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
