she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
