I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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