Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
