Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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