I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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