drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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