I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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