omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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