I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
