she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize