He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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