well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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