So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
