Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
