On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just found puke in my bra..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The uberlube is also flammable
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize