I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
