just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
