I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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