Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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