I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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