i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
