Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You are a genius and a whore.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
